i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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