White coat. Heels.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize