i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
