I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Someone shattered a urinal.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
