I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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