Just cropdusted the office
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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