she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
