Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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