Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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