BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize