Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
