haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
