I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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