seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
