Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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