sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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