I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
