rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
