Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
