smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
ugly people sure do ruin things
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
