Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize