If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Randomize
