Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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