he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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