Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
