We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
