Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
