Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
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Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?