I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.