is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.