so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
