you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
