Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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