i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
