I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
