8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
