Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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