I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
