I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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