i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I've blown a few things in my day
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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