dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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