THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We had sex on a dog bed..
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
