he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
