i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
A+ Viking dick
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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