Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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