were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
