Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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