She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
