I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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