he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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