I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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