God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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