a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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