I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
