omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
