We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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