i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
