i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
