Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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