Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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