i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize