Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize