I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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