I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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